Don't Look Down On Old Cock ...

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years.

The farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium and turns him loose in the barn yard.

Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. "So, they're trying to replace me", thinks the old rooster. "I've got to do something about this."

He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself."

Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster. "And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy," said the young rooster.

So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathering around to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on.

After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.
After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster.

By now the farmer has heard all the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barn yard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.

As he walks away slowly, he says to himself..."Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

Tarzan and Jane ...

From the fairy tales, Tarzan and Jane romantic story is really an enticing affair. Their story doesn't end until they get married...

As we all know, Tarzan live through his life in jungle, not knowing anything about sex. Never in his life, anyone telling him about the bee and bird story. And on their wedding night, after they 'yam-sing' and bid farewell to their guests, Tarzan and Jane went back to room. Jane want to have some surprise for Tarzan, so she ask him to take shower first while she make the bed.

A while later, Tarzan walked back in and found that the room was dark with only candles light on besides the bed. To his surprised, he found Jane lying naked on the bed and was already soundly asleep (due to too much 'yam sing'). It was his first time seeing a naked lady and what more, he was shocked to discover that Jane is penis-less.

Then he think of his doctor, who can cure anything and decided to seek his help. So he quietly sneaked out.

His doctor don't really understand what's going on, still he followed Tarzan to his house to see what he could help. Upon arrived, Tarzan straightaway brief him and ask him to sew up his wife as her penis has gone. Before the doctor could explain, Tarzan pushed him into the room and locked him with Jane, pleading him to cure his wife.

The doctor tried to explain, but upon seeing beautiful naked Jane on the bed, he can't stand no longer. He make love with Jane (while Jane thought that it was Tarzan). After he was done, he left the room hastily through the window.

Tarzan came in after he notice there is no sound from the room. He discover Jane was still soundly asleep and some 'sticky stuff' near the 'missing area'.

Tarzan: What the heck he think he is doing *angrily* ... I asked him to 'sew up' the thing, but he glue it instead!!!

Rakyat's biggest wishes ...

There was this activity been carried out by local survey company who collect data and answer from Rakyat based on certain survey questionnaire.

One particular question being asked around ...

Survey: What do you want your MP (Member of Parliments) do for you?

Rakyat#1: I want them to fight for our right and bring business to our area ... blah blah blah

Rakyat#2: I want them to understand our basic daily need, give us more attention ... blah blah blah

Rakyat#3: I want them to get more money, budget, new road, larger longkang (drain), etc etc to our area... blah blah blah

.
.
.

Rakyat#X: I want my MP to die!!

The survey collector was shocked, but after calming himself down, he further asking ...

Survey: Die? You mean Mati (die in Malay language)?
Rakyat#X: Yes.
Survey: But why? Your MP is not doing his/her job well? or you want to complain something here about him/her?
Rakyat#X: He is doing fine and I got nothing to complain about ... and please don't misunderstand, I don't hate him at all.
Survey: Then??
Rakyat#X: When my MP die, then government will 'Buy' Election...
Survey: You mean, By-Election, right?
Rakyat#X: ... and then they will fight for our right, bring business, understand our need, pay us more attention, build new road and longkang, give away money, house ... etc etc etc ... blah blah blah

Survey: (-_-)||| ...

Why Sherlock Holmes always look pale ...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!!!"


p/s: That's why Sherlock Holmes always look pale; due to 'blood-vomit' too much ... :P

Keep Fit or Fat ...

Siu Keong (7-years-old kid) walks into the kitchen where his mum is preparing
a meal and says:

SiuKeong: Mummy, the last few nights I have woke up to this thumping noise coming out of your bedroom and when I look to see what it is, you're 'sitting' on top of daddy and 'bouncing' up
and down.
SiuKeong: Why are you doing that? (Curious-guilty-look)


The startled mother recovers quickly and says,

Mama: Well, your daddy is a little overweight and I'm trying to get him back to normal
size. I 'bounce' on him to get all the air out of him.


Siu Keong just shakes his head and replied,

Siu Keong: Mum you're wasting your time. Because, once a week that nice-looking lady next door
comes over and 'blows' daddy right back up again.

Mama: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!